The ‘straight’ form of you

  • convinced that all straight girls feel at the least some attraction to ladies
  • convinced that your fascination with seeing appealing women/scantily clad women/boobs is a reaction that is artificial by the objectification of females in media
  • Thinking you’re simply a brilliant intense feminist for genuinely reasoning ladies are amazing and achieving a formidable choice with their business
  • Being actually into just exactly how females look “aesthetically”/“just as creative interest”/“fashion goals”
  • Thinking it is objective and uncontested that just about all women can be far more appealing than many guys
  • Being an extremely intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly psychological about homophobia but presuming you’re just a very Good Ally and v empathetic
  • Having like half your friend team from college grow to be LGBT+
  • Getting psychological or having a stronger response you don’t realize to f/f love tales etc.
  • Having had individuals think you’re homosexual once you had no suspicion you’re homosexual

Checking out attraction to ladies

  • Experiencing as you could live with a lady in an intimate method, even though you can’t imagine doing any such thing intimate with a lady
  • experiencing as if you could enjoy intimate connection with a lady, even although you can’t imagine having intimate emotions for a girl
  • Thinking you couldn’t be considered a lesbian because you’re maybe not appealing sufficient, cool enough, or elsewhere in identical league because so many for the females you realize
  • getting together with het sex/romance in news by imagining your self within the man’s place or perhaps never/rarely imagining your self into the woman’s place
  • actually centering on the ladies in het porn
  • Being actually in to the concept of kissing/being intimate with a lady ‘to turn guys on’
  • Being really annoyed whenever dudes do show desire for viewing or joining in once you do this
  • Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual desire for ladies whenever you’re inebriated or perhaps reduced

Gender emotions

  • Having a lot of conflicting gender emotions which can be just feasible to solve once you know you are/can be considered a lesbian
  • convinced that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean you can’t be a lady regardless of if that is what feels closest to right – many lesbians are gnc and lots of lesbians feel disconnected from old-fashioned womanhood because it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy
  • Knowing you’re drawn to females and never having the ability to parse that (esp + any sex nonconformance) as homosexual, using a number of years to find out if you’re a right man or even a lesbian
  • Being dysphoric in regards to the components of you that produce right males think the human body is owed in their mind, needing to determine just what that dysphoria means for/to you
  • Wishing straight people and/or males didn’t parse you as a female, but being completely more comfortable with the thought of other females seeing you as you of those
  • Knowing you’re attracted to females, but experiencing weirdly bad and uncomfortable wanting to connect to them as being a right guy, and just later on realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian
  • Knowing you’re homosexual, but experiencing like you’re struggling against comp het stuff – disquiet, responsibility, fear, disinterest, self-objectification, etc. – when you make an effort to connect to males romantically/sexually, and just later on realizing you’re a trans lesbian and never a homosexual guy
  • Being nonbinary and using quite a long time to examine having the ability to respect/understand your nonbinary identification as well as your lesbianness as well

Considering lesbianism

  • planning to be described as a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know just you will be one you can’t be
  • Feeling alienated from all of the male-gazey impractical depictions of lesbians as only being young slim rich white cis abled conventionally appealing sex conforming right actresses in tv/movies/porn and convinced that alienation means you can’t be homosexual
  • Discovering that your particular kind is gnc ladies or ladies who share your underrepresented demographic and that is why you’re certainly not drawn to superstars
  • perhaps not experiencing interested in right females but instantly having plenty of crushes whenever you understand for certain certain ladies are bi/gay
  • experiencing accountable about attempting to be considered a lesbian, experiencing like you’re simply attention-seeking or wanting to be stylish
  • curbing your lesbian fantasies since you think exploring that desire will mean you’re a bad/homophobic individual utilizing lesbianness selfishly
  • Wishing you’re a lesbian to flee the disquiet of dating males
  • Fantasizing exactly how much fun it will be to become a lesbian and merely be with women/a particular girl, but convinced that can’t be for you
  • stressing that some of your previous attraction to men was actually genuine so that you can’t be described as a lesbian
  • Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% certain you’re maybe not drawn to males and can’t be 100% yes you won’t change your mind, you can’t be described as a lesbian
  • Worrying you just desire to be a lesbian as a result of traumatization and that means your lesbianness could be Fake
  • Worrying that trauma-induced problems in the method that you encounter intercourse (age.g., a practice of self-harming via sex w men or even a fear of/lack of great interest in every intercourse after all) mean you’re maybe not an actual Lesbian

Every product with this list is common among genuine Lesbians. It is all Lesbian that is normal Stuff. If you’re stressed which you can’t be considered a lesbian although it’s the life span you really would like yourself, i really hope this provides you authorization to explore that. You may be permitted to be considered a lesbian.

And when you’re perhaps not certain yet – if you took the full time to read through this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, in the event that you identified with a number of products with this list – you could or might not be a lesbian, but buddy, you probably aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d want to hear other activities lesbians desire you’d understood had been something once you had been first exploring your identification! )



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